Inner Peace

Have you ever feel lost and have no place to run to?
Have you ever been in a situation where you have to hide your true feeling, faking smile, pretend you don't care but the truth is that you are crying for help and comfort?

I used to feel this feeling, feel lost like I can't breath anymore because they suck all air around me.
My fake smiles only made me feel even worse. It doesn't solve anything. I am the type of person, who could borrow one ear or two just to make me feel better.

But this time is different. I feel completely lost and lonely and trap. So bad till I can't tell anyone how miserable I was.

One moment, I decided to make peace with my inner side, my God. I started to pray more often. Having deeper faith and utter resignation. Daring myself to go back to church (before this, I am kinda ashamed going to church because of all that I've done. I felt like, I don't deserve to be here. That's why I don't go to church often - other than being lazy off course).

I never expected the feeling would be totally different. I thought I won't feel anything, I won't solve anything. But I was so wrong.

I feel peace and comfort. Like being around my mom and dad.
I feel love and forgiveness. Like the feeling when my dad said it's okay after I did something wrong.
I feel happiness, friendship, and many other things that makes me feel stronger and less lonely.

I feel the true friendship, someone that will never leave you alone. Someone that wont give you headache for the dramas. Someone who love you unconditionally. Someone who truly love you.